For about the past three weeks, my son has been coming home from day care with bite marks on his arms and hands.

The yellow occurrence reports, which my husband or I have to sign when we pick him up whenever there is an injury or incident, usually states that the caregiver noticed it while changing his diaper or while he was playing. On several reports it was noted that he didn't cry, so they didn't notice the bite until later. On a few occasions, the biter has been caught in the act, in which case the day care does address it with the offending child's parents.

My main concern is not the fact that another toddler is causing bodily harm to my child. I'm not an "Oh, my poor baby" kind of mom. After all, most toddlers are rough and tumble. My child is even known to morph a hug into a tackle.

Rather, I'm concerned that if my child is being bitten regularly, he will learn that this is normal, acceptable behavior. I don't want to raise a biter.

Tonight, when I picked up Meyer, I had another yellow paper to sign: "Bite mark on left arm," it stated.

Sure enough, there was the red dash-marked semicircle showing where the teeth had sunk in.

This time, I asked questions:

1. Was Meyer doing something to initiate the biting? Was he aggravating another child?

Answer: No, your child isn't instigating the biting. Your son isn't a biter. He plays well with other children.

2. How do you react when there is a biting? (After all, I want to make sure that the message he gets at home and school are the same.)

Answer: When we see it, we address the entire class, "We don't bite our friends; we hug our friends." They went on to say there are certain children who are the biters, and they keep a close eye on them, or make sure they sit in high chairs away from other children when they are playing. But they really try to redirect the negative behavior into a positive one.

I'm a firm believer in redirecting behavior, particularly for young children, when their cognitive reasoning hasn't quite developed.

However, I would tack on "Biting hurts" in the explanation to the class.

At 15-months-old, Meyer may not completely understand what "hurts" means. But then again, there's no way for me to know when he will fully understand abstract concepts, so I'm a believer in using real terms early on.

On the other end of the discipline spectrum, some parents believe in the mantra "If your child bites, bite them back."

My sister even tried it with her 2-year-old.

Penelope Leach, a child psychologist, cautions against this approach.

"A child this age isn't capable of truly putting herself in another's shoes, so she can't yet see the connection between what she does and what's done to her," Leach says in an article on babycenter.com titled "My toddler bites. Should I bite her back?" "What's more, young children do most of their social learning by following their parents' example, so biting your child or otherwise inflicting pain on her sets an appallingly bad example."

Instead, she says, you need to firmly tell your child that biting isn't okay. And don't overreact. It may be misinterpreted.

"Make sure, too, that you don't inadvertently reward your toddler for biting," she explains. "(D)on't pick her up — even if it's to reprimand her. If your child bites another child, focus your attention on the injured party rather than on the biter — who may take even negative attention as reinforcement for doing it again."

(Read more of Leach's advice at http://www.babycenter.com/404_my-toddler-bites-should-i-bite-her-back_14057.bc.)

What do you think? How to you keep your child from mimicking bad behaviors? Share your thoughts now.