For moms in Savannah and the Coastal Empire

The "No" Word

This is one all parents including myself have struggled with but as an early childhood professional have learned to retrain myself.  Listen to how you speak to your child.  How often do you say the "no" word?  Do you find yourself yelling a lot?  I'm sorry to tell you this, but your children have become accustomed to this and have tuned you out.  First, you need to retrain yourself and then in the process, you will find your children will be retrained.  Begin by lowering your voice.  I know, you are going to say, they can't hear you.  That's the point.  They will have to lower their's to hear you.  Actually, go to your child and at their level - eye-to-eye; speak to them in a quiet voice.  They look away; tell them you need to see their eyes.  This shows them you respect them.  Soon, you will find you will not have to yell to get their attention.

Also, how often do you say "no"?  Try rephrasing your sentence by leaving that word out.  Instead of no running in the house - how about, walking feet, please.  Instead of yelling ask them to use their inside voice (this goes for inside the car, also).  This also takes practice.  Save the "no" word for extreme danger and safety.  This way when you actually need it; they will listen.

Good Luck and this is an ongoing practice/training.

user comments

Saying No

This has been my problem, to cut the conversation I will always say yes but now I am teaching myself to really implement when I say no to my kid.

Be polite

This reminded me of a time when my son was about 3 and he told me to "go away." When I told him that wasn't very polite he said, "Please go away." Cracked me up. 

I still struggle with being polite to my kids while demanding politeness of them. I find it's much tougher to keep my cool with two of them than it was with just one. There's nothing like yelling at them to stop yelling. I love irony, but that's too much.

saying no

Yes...thanks for the reminder

Lately I've begun asking Little H. (4 yo) to "use words" instead of ignoring me when he's avoiding doing something I've told him to do. For one thing ihis saying "I'm not ready...etc." is less annoying than being ignored, and it opens up a little space for me to reason with him (for all that's worth, lol!).