Aggressive play
I try to teach peaceful conflict resolution. But I'm dealing with a four year old! Little H. loves fighting games, superheros, anything that shoots, blasts, grapples or punches. He said the other day, "Sorry for shooting you mama, I know you're delicate". Oh boy. I told him in fact I was quite tough, but no one likes to be shot at. Can't we all just get along?
Is this just part of being a boy? Has he been exposed to too much Spiderman media (I blame his friends at daycare)? Should I just go along with it or try and mellow him out?
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Idolize
A lot of essay papers point young children to become susceptible to early violence like professional wrestling and crazy Hollywood fight scenes.
It's getting better!
The play fighting is more like dancing these days - dancing with long light-sabor slashes and lots of whoosh sounds and hiyas. His little crew of boy buddies are the same way. They run to each other and air-slash/jab without ever making a hit. They ARE superheros, their eyes tell the whole story.
He's is a healthy boy!
Boys need the agressive play to learn to deal with their independence and emotions. We all need a little healthy agression. Having said that, pushing and hitting a brother or sister is not acceptable. That deserves firm punishment when it goes too far!
I am worried myself..
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and I tell ya the aggressive playing and pushing coming from my 3 yrold boy has been really exhausting...My little 1 yr old ...she can barely take it anymore! I dont know what to do myself. I try to talk to him about taking care of his sister, but I think I am dealing with jealosy and attention issues...but I worry alot too!! LOL...I am hoping myself that this is part of being a boy but I hope it stops soon!!
So normal
Don't sweat it, he's just being a boy. I swear it's in their genes. It doesn't matter what you do. They'll make guns out of sticks! As long as his play isn't harming others or himself, let his imagination go.
hurting others
That's the part I do worry about. Once his games get more aggressive it seems like his general behavior does too. My new technique is to spend a little while being real sweet and gentle with him to sort of "deprogram" him - lol! That's when he wants to play mama cat and little kitten...so sweet from a Transformer Power Bot!
LOL, no need to worry. He's
LOL, no need to worry. He's just being a little boy. :)
He's a boy... I wouldn't be
He's a boy... I wouldn't be overly concerned about the behavior you're describing! To this day, my 9yo still enjoys nerf guns, wrestling and the like. It's completely normal!
:)
He's a boy ....
I have 3 boys who are now 21, 14 and 13 and when my oldest was 3, I was at my cousin's and saw her oldest, a teenager raise his fist to hit her and decided then my boys would never raise their hand or fist against me as their Mother. I teach them at a very young age when they first raise their hand even in play that they are never to hit me. I am not mean or ugly about this; just firm. I agree that boys are a different breed and even some girls; but it is our job to teach them how to handle their anger and aggressiveness. Communication and looking each other in the eye is the key to growing up and handling conflict. Learning how to say I'm sorry and I forgive you are the biggest things we can teach our children.
On the otherhand, we, as parents, do need to channel our boys' energy. Playing, wrestling, running are good releases but if done in anger and temper, they are harmful. We still wrestle and play with our boys even though they are older and they are bigger than me. Mom is still tough.
crossing the line
I've started your exact advice. The firm rule rule in our family: no hitting mama. I like it. It's clear and sets a good standard.
I'm glad to hear you talk about saying sorry too. I see a real heartfelt reaction when I say sorry for talking in a mean voice or shouting (mommy confession!).
It makes me seem like less of a hypocrite when I tell him not to behave that way. And I know for me growing up, hypocrisy from adults was also judged very harshly by us kids.