Love Language #2: Quality Time
According to Dr. Chapman, "quality time" is defined as spending time together while given that person your undivided attention. For example, sitting in the car listening to the radio is not quality time. However, if you are in the car alone and engaging in a meaningful conversation- that is quality time.
There are several aspects of Quality Time:
Togetherness is the main aspect of quality time. It says that we care about each other, we enjoy each other, and we like to do things together. It does not mattter what activity we are doing together, its the activity that creates the sense of togetherness. For instance, washing the car with your kids is considered quality time or eating a meal together.
Quality Conversation is a dialogue can share their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly non-interupted manner. This is a time to listen to what your partner or child says without judgement or assistance from you. By assistance, I mean that this is not the time to solve a problem. Quality time is more about listening. Here are some practical tips for having a quality conversation with a loved one:
* Maintain eye contact with the person speaking to you.
* Don't listen to your spouse/child and do something else at the same time.
*Listen for Feelings.
* Observe body Language.
***** Refuse to interupt. THIS IS MY WEEKEST AREA!!!!
The final aspect of Quality Time is Quality Activities. Quality activites include activities that one or both of you enjoy. The emphasis of the activity you choose it not on the activity itself, its the experience of doing something together and walking away feeling that the other person cares about you (or you about them). There are 3 essential ingrediants to a quality activity:
1. At least one of you likes doing it.
2. The other person is willing to do it.
3. Both of you know why you are doing it - to express love of being by each other.
The best outcome of quality time is that you create memories of the time you spend together. It is hard to find "time" to spend quality time together in this busy world, but most relationships will fall apart without it. Try to find 20 minutes each day in order to get away from the hustle and bustle of the world to reconnect with each other. We as adults are also setting an example for our children. Many of which are having trouble communicating with their peers, because they can not do it without the aid od electronics.